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Sunday, February 23, 2014

February Week 3: Post-tease

What a damn week. Remember how excited I have been about that new job? And how I was sure I had it? Nope. It fell through after 3 weeks of running around to interviews, filling out tons of paperwork, making plans for my future, being happy. Well, happier than I have been. I hate being unemployed. I've been working since I was 16 and it is a core factor in my confidence. Sigh. I can't describe how shell shocked I felt when I got the phone call saying the job had disappeared into the ether. It still feels like a bad dream. Life goes on, and so must I. I will keep writing and living and watching movies. This week, I saw a couple of stinkers. It was actually kind of refreshing. When you spend a lot of time browsing the Criterion collection, you tend to forget that bad movies exist. Next time I'd like to narrow it to just 1 bad movie, but I'll take what I can get really. Since I watched a few that are still in theaters, I thought I would use the original format of the blog to talk about them. If you like it and want me to see some more still in theater movies, let me know! I'd me happy to put up content about them right after I watch them.

Movies Seen:
American Hustle
Take Aim at the Police Van!
Ugetsu
Austenland
Vagabond
In Secret

American Hustle (2013):
When I saw this movie the first time I very much enjoyed it. Imitation Scorsese it may be, it is still super fun with cool costume design, great music and fantastic acting. I expected some of the sheen to wear off with a second viewing, but I think I might have enjoyed it just as much, if not more. It turned into one of those situations where you are anticipating the next scene, and you smile like crazy, and you turn to look at your girlfriend and she’s smiling too. Very specific to people with girlfriends, but you can imagine other characters in this scenario also. Let’s go old school JDTMovies for this one.

What I Liked:
-Heist movie. Heist movies have a special place in my heart. Sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to see who gets away with what, is one of the best movie-going experiences in my opinion.
-Great music. They mixed up the music from the era all over this soundtrack. I normally don’t like it when a film uses a piece of music to force a feeling onto the audience, but this movie does such a good job. Based on previous reviews, does that make me a hypocrite? Maybe.
-Acting. I mean, c’mon. You put this much talent together in a room, you are going to get something great. Of course, it takes a masterful hand like O. Russel to make it all into the magical soup it is. My favorite performance in the film goes to Jeremy Renner. I’ve seen this guy do a bunch of action roles, but my favorite are his lower key stuff, a la The Hurt Locker. In this movie, he plays the MOST likable person on the planet. He sells that shit. So freaking GOOD.

What I didn’t like:
-What can I really complain about? I guess it’s a little long… that didn’t really bother me though. I dunno.

What I hated:
I got nothing.

Verdict:

Obviously I love this movie, but it’s not perfect. I am at a loss to narrow down the imperfections, but I know they are there. You should see it, we should see it, let’s go see it.


Take Aim at the Police Van! (1960):
This might become my new thing, because I have now seen 2 of these Japanese noir movies from the 60’s and they were both excellent. Let’s have a little synopsis, see if I can peak your interests! Take Aim at the Police Van follows Tamon, a prison guard/sharpshooter who is assaulted during a prison transfer, leading to the murder of a couple of prisoners by unknown assassins. After being suspended from the job, Tamon begins searching for answers, following a recently released prisoner into a web of thugs and corporate conspiracies. Were the targets random? Are the claims of the recent parolee just the dreams of a moron? Should he hook up with the sexy boss lady? All of these questions and more are answered with style. I loved this movie. Modern day movies seem to be able to hold my attention less and less, and American noirs and their goofy acting are a complete turn off for me. There is something natural and tragic about these Japanese noirs that is riveting. Every character has their motivation and when they all come to a close at the end of the movie, it is so sweet. A perfect dessert of a movie, the kind that’s made out of fruit so it is simultaneously delicious and healthy!


Ugetsu (1953):
A cautionary tale, Ugetsu is here to tell you that greed is actually a bad thing, a bad thing that will make you do stupid things. Yes children, it’s always better to stomp out your dreams, especially during a civil war where men are constantly roaming the countryside looking to rape and/or pillage wherever they can. SPOILER Doing anything to remove yourself from your current financial status could result in A) Falling in love with a ghost which leaves your wife to be murdered by bandits, or B) Becoming an important military figure at the cost of your wife ending up a prostitute, who may want to strangle you to death. No good, me amigos. I’m staying away from those CA Scratchers, although I don’t have a wife, or military ambitions, or know any local hot single ghosts looking to hook up.
This movie launched an interesting discussion between Sarah and I on what defines a ghost. Does a ghost need to appear to living people or could it be only among other dead and still be considered a ghost? Are the characters in Defending Your Life ghosts in heaven and the dead in Wristcutters ghosts in purgatory? What about the characters who appear to Chris Wilton in Match Point, or are they just figments of his subconscious? Are you a ghost? Would you tell me?
In conclusion, Ugetsu is a very good movie. Love, Joel.


Austenland (2013):
Drek.
I suppose I should give more than a single word in my review. When we began watching Austenland, I was expecting it to be a somewhat bad but ultimately harmless rom-com. Lowered expectations firm in hand, I was still caught off guard by the… shitiness of this movie. I like Keri Russell and Bret McKenzie, I even enjoy seeing Jane Seymour and Jennifer Coolidge on occasion. None of these actors display any sort of chemistry together. I don’t know if there was a lot of adlibbing going or if all the dialogue came from the page, either way it was mostly terrible and impossible for the actors to make work. The music WAS HORREDOUS; so bad that I had several moments where I had to place a pillow over my head in order to make the pain stop. I know the song Betty Davis Eyes is famous and well liked, but the scene it was used for in this movie was such a gigantic WTF IS GOING ON moment, that if I ever here it again I may start screaming as if having a ‘nam flashback. Bad movie! Go to your cage! Lastly, going back to the lack of chemistry, I don’t know who thought Keri Russell and the Mr. Darcy character worked well together, but these two had nothing in the form of sparks EVER. I feel so bad for the actors involved in this movie. It is a big pile of shit.


Vagabond (1985):
Imagine you have no home. Got it? Ok, good. Now imagine you travelled all over the place having no money. Still with me? Good. Now, lastly, imagine you were an asshole. How far do you think you would get? Maybe it’s different in France. I’ve been there once, and my girlfriend did get pushed out of the metro before. Vagabond follows a young woman who seems to come out of nowhere and proceeds to touch the lives of many people, who are seen talking about the mysterious woman in short interviews, and eventually watching as she succumbs to her inevitable fate. I like movies from this era as they have a brown-ness to their color scheme that I find comforting. The titular vagabond is a snotty asshole who apparently smells bad, yet people seem to fall all over themselves trying to either help her or just motivate her to do something other than slack off. The very first scene of the movie features this young woman’s body being discovered in a ditch, and I can’t really say I feel sorry for her. It isn’t about that of course. It’s more about the small effect even a momentary contact with someone can have on your life. Is that what it’s about? Ehhhhhhh, never mind. The movie was a lot of wandering and dialogue, the feeling of emptiness and listlessness throughout. It was sad and true, but not very interesting. Just another page in my film education.


In Secret (2014):
The first movie I have seen in 2014, this movie has set the bar pretty low for the rest of the year. In Secret, based on the novel and play Thérése Raquin, is a gothic style cautionary tale about the dangers of sex. Sex with men with large side burns, which is in style now days I believe. BEWARE ALL YOU MEN. You’re ladies are all lusting after hairy goofballs. Once again I find a movie with actors I am excited to see on screen (Elizabeth Olsen, Oscar Isaac, Jessica Lange) in a movie not worthy of their abilities. I cannot tell you how many times I found myself laughing at this movie during scenes that were supposed to contain gravitas, and instead contained only awkwardness. Break down:

What I Liked:
-Tom Felton is great in this. I haven’t seen him in anything since the Harry Potter movies and I hardly recognized him without Malfoy’s signature sneer.
-I like a lot of the scenery. You could see where the money went if this movies cost any large sum.

What I Didn’t Like:
-The pace of this movie was all over the place. The beginning was boring, then they move to Paris and it begins to pick up. Except that it doesn’t, the editor decided that in order to show time passing one must only insert scene after scene, one hit after another at a break neck pace. It doesn’t matter of the scenes have anything to do with one another, we have a story to get on that screen! Get the bear! We need a scene with the bear! I don’t care if it was symbolism. There were things that could have been cut, and other things that could have been drawn out.
-Sarah said that she thought Oscar Isaac and Elizabeth Olsen had a good chemistry, but I couldn’t see it. I don’t think it’s their fault. Like I said, everything was rushed though.
-I think American Horror Story has ruined Jessica Lange for me a bit. She can’t be in a role like this where she becomes mad with grief. I cannot take it seriously.

What I Hated:
-All I could see was wasted potential.

Verdict:
If there is some sort of longer director’s cut that may come out in the future, I might actually consider rewatching this. As it is, it is not very good. Very middle of the road.



My mom asked me where I was finding these movies she had never heard of. I get most of them off of Hulu, a couple from Netflix. Speaking of mom, I have next month's blog project ready to go! It can be found right here at the March Film Project list! Still working through February's project, but I have nothing but time on my hands. Again. Thanks for reading my whiny blog. I appreciate you guys more than you know.

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