February Week 4: I Know What You Posted Last Summer.

Jeez, months sure do seem to go by fast right now. It seems like just yesterday I was telling myself that February was going to be the month that I turned everything around and finally became the best me possible. I achieved that goal, then immediately fell from grace, reviled by my peers and family, forced to walk the Earth until the end of my days. But while I'm doing that, I still have plenty of time to watch movies and write my blog! I saw 3 movies in the the theater recently, which has to be some kind of record. 4 movies from this year so far. When it comes to seeing movies in the theater, I have set a modest goal of seeing at least 12. 1 per month, unless I somehow come upon huge amounts of cash or a job at a movie theater. Or, you readers ask me to see more stuff, which I gladly will. Until then, let me tell you about my March Project! I asked someone very close to me to pick out 15 movies that she'd like to see me talk about, and so she did and so I shall. That person is my mother, who watches just as many movies as I do I believe. Here's the list if you are interested. I believe I have only seen one of those movies, so I am looking forward to my month!
Now, I don't want to do this, but if I don't I'll regret it sometime in the future. I have added a Donate button to the blog. I do not expect anything, as right now the blog is costing me nothing other than the occasional movie rental. BUT if money is donated to the site, I do have somethings I'd like to do, including but not limited to: Purchasing my domain again; seeing more movies in the theater; doing some other projects like audio interviews and some small puppet review videos.These are just some ideas I'm throwing around. If you have money to spare, throw it my way and I promise not to waste it. If not, I don't care at all. I'm just so happy you take the time to read my writing at all.


Movies Seen:
The Mummy
Now You See Me
The Wages of Fear
Robocop
Adult World
The X from Outer Space
Yearning

The Mummy (1932):

I think other than Dracula this is the only classic Universal monster movie I have seen. It was incredibly dull. It started off fun with the mummy already excavated and hanging out in his sarcophagus, a bunch of scientist chatting about how it’s the find of the century and there’s a curse and OOOOOOOO. And when Imhotep decides to get the heck out of there after being resurrected, leaving one poor guy cracking up off his rocker, I was ready for a rip roaring good time. But it was almost immediately downhill from there. Boris Karloff is a freaky looking guy, especially when he is made up to look like an ancient goober, but after the 3^rd close up of him staring into the camera, hypnotizing all who see his mysterious eyes, it just got tired. There was almost no more mummy action after the first 10 minutes with the exception of a few flashbacks. I totally dug the flashbacks, especially when poor Imhotep is sentenced to “death”. The rest of it is a lot of talking and staring and ladies fainting. I’ll have to try a few more of these flicks before I decide for sure, but they might not be for me.

Now You See Me (2013):

Critics hated this movie. I can’t tell you how many of the critics I read just railed against Now You See Me for being generic and stupid. Maybe they are right, but I had really good time watching it. All the actors seemed to be having a good time with the material, Jesse Eisenberg getting to play a cool douche bag instead of a nerd, Woody Harrelson being Woody Harrelson and therefore automatically cool, Melanie Laurent being Hollywood European, Common. The story was very predictable but lots of fun to watch happen anyway. There were some very cool chase scenes, lots of goofing off and gags, and Michael Caine vs Morgan Freeman. Sure, the movie tries to go for the very controversial message of being greedy and evil is wrong, but I think we can all relate a little. Here’s my one true complaint: The hoody complex. Now, in this movie only one character is seen in a hoody and it is meant to blend him into a crowd, but hoodies of late have been used to present mystery and coolness. Where did the world get the idea that hoodies are anything that are cool? It’s a fucking sweater. Have you ever been cool in a sweater? Exactly. Now You See Me is worth a watch. Check it out when you are looking for something to rent.

 The Wages of Fear (1953):

Anxiety/tension incarnate. This is the only note I wrote for The Wages of Fear. I can count the amount of times on one hand where I watched a movie and was immediately sure I had just seen a masterpiece. This was one of those times. I didn’t know this movie was famous (it’s on those lists of 1001 movies to see before you die and such); I only watched it because it was the next film in my February project. I am so glad I did. The Wages of Fear takes place in a South American village, filled with unemployed losers like me who have nothing better to do than hang out on porches and complain about the heat. Nearby is an oil company who is looking for workers to take a dangerous trip in exchange for large amounts of money: driving a truck over rough terrain while hauling containers of nitroglycerin. BOOM. Behind my note and plot description lies a film with so much emotional nuance, so much mastery of camera work and dialogue, so much awesomeness. The desperation of a person willing to risk their life just to make a few thousand dollars is troubling and intriguing. You cannot help but watch, cringing at every bump and every road block, simultaneously hating the characters while hoping they will survive. Ha! I’m kind of tearing up just thinking about the movie! Wow. I watched this on Hulu, and it is an amazing cleaned up transfer there. Watch it. Just, drop what you are doing and watch it.

Robocop (2014)

Adult World (2014):

I can’t remember where I first heard about this movie, but I watched the trailer and thought it looked pretty good. Jeez, I can’t remember the last time I thought that about a movie with John Cusack in it. Anyway, Adult World is a brisk 97 minute comedy that somehow feels much too long, and that’s pretty bad. I kept expecting it to end and it kept going like the 3^rd Lord of the Rings movie. It did have quite a few laugh moments for me, and I liked all the characters, although I kind of wish there had been more Cloris Leachman, which is another thing I can’t believe I’m saying. But unfortunately it wastes its potential by meandering around with its plot and dropping scenes in harsh cuts when the editor decided it was time to move on. Just another movie about the current generation of college graduates who leave college and find out that the rest of the world doesn’t really care about their degrees. Ah, to be 23 and naïve. Wait, I hated that age. Stupid kids and their rock music… anyway. It was fine, we rented it and that’s about all it’s worth.

The X from Outer Space (1967):

Japan. The 1960’s. Things are very groovy at the Japanese NASA equivalent, bright pastels and blinking consoles all around. We’ve got a mission to Mars ready to go, but there is a little bit of tension in the air. This mission has already been attempted a few times, but UFOs have always interfered before the poor space crew could reach their destination. I liked how the term UFO was thrown around without anyone reacting as if it was a crazy thing to mention. Anywho, on their way to Mars, the shuttle crew is once again buzzed by a UFO, which looked like a hot buttery biscuit. After the encounter, an emergency landing is made at the local moon base, where a strange tiny pod is discovered attached to the ship. After that, boring boring boring boring.  FULL DISCLOSURE- I did not finish this movie. I just could not do. I even stuck around to when the actual Kaiju (giant monster) shows up on Earth, looking like a giant lizard chicken man. I don’t know if every Kaiju movie is like this, but if they are I cannot for the life of me understand their popularity. What amounts to a few minutes of monster destruction combined with a lot of scenes of awkward science bullshit jargon does not a good movie make. I cannot recommend this movie, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to muster up the strength to watch any other movies like this. I’ll have to rely on Mystery Science Theater reruns to get any sort of Kaiju fix that I can tolerate.

Yearning (1964):

Has a title ever been more apt? Mr. Smith Goes to Washington you say? Touché. A Japanese film about small business owners in an evolving world, Yearning is the prefect analogue for our time with slightly more suicides. I assume; I’m not actually aware of the grocery store related suicide statistics. Everyone is wanting in this movie. Reiko wants to please her family, even to the point of ruining her own chances at happiness. Koji longs for a woman that he cannot have, turning his life around from a no-goodnik to a business man just to please her. Mother wants the store to survive and her husband’s legacy to continue, but mostly she wants whatever makes her family happy. All of these things are simultaneously on the surface and underneath. The Japanese have that special way of being so reserved about everything in their life. You know what the characters need and you want to shake them and tell them to stop mussing about and take charge of theirs lives! But you can’t, and that makes it beautiful. Yearning is a beautiful movie about loss and love and family. There is no action, lots of dialogue, and lots of sadness. I would almost call this movie perfect, except that I found the ending so infuriating that I said out loud “OH COME ON.” I really loved this movie, but it left me pretty sad.

 And that's it for the month of February! Next month, more action and adventure will be in order. Maybe I'll start by watching The Shipping News or Steel Magnolias. Yeah, that's the ticket. Any critiques, movie recommendations, well timed insults? Please post them here, on Facebook or Google+, or send them to me on Twitter. Thanks for reading my diary (that's right, this is my diary! Now who's creepy?) and I hope you all have a wonderful week!