Review: Terminator Salvation

Synopsis: A terminator movie that takes place during the actual machine war. The machines are taking large amounts of hostages, no one knows why. And some other stuff with a robot guy and a hit list with important people on it and a mute kid. Right, I don’t get it either.

Stars: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Moon Bloodgood (WTF? That sounds like the kind of name Todd McFarlane would come up with. I call BS), Helena Bonham Carter, Anton Yelchin (This kid also played Chekov in the new Star Trek) and of course, Common. Because you can’t make a good movie without Common.

The humans are dead! The humans are deeaaaad! Well, they should be. It seems like the robots have a pretty good hold on the planet. For instance, the few human that remain can blow something up and attract a few robots to the area in a matter of seconds. Except, you know, when they are shooting and blowing things up right next to their base of operations. Because the robots can’t find that, it’s too special. Yeah, that’s got to be it.
So I thought this movie was pretty goofy. It didn’t instill the fear I felt of being pursued by an unstoppable killing machine like the first 2 movies did. It seemed more like a generic action movie. Which is, in my opinion, sucksville. These were always action movies, sure, but they were also thrilling/horrifying suspense films. The new movie wasn’t all bad, just mostly I think.

Things I Liked:
Different Robots- There were some very cool looking robots of course. The T-600 looked like a more primitive T-800 (which it was). And some of the ships were very cool looking. On the other hand, fish robots? Or eel if you will. They could have made those water machines look like anything. Why did they take a page from the matrix and decide, yeah, that’s good enough? ‘Splain it to me Lucy.

The last 30 or so minutes- I don’t want to spoil this part too much, but there is a few awesome fight and flight scenes here that made me feel like I was watching a Terminator movie again. This was about the only time, besides a few scenes with Marcus (The main character, not John Conner) that had me really into it too.

Things I Didn’t Like:
Running in large groups- See, this was what I had problems with the most in the film. It’s just uninteresting to see the helpless people being chased and grabbed. Not slaughtered, but collected for some reason. Who knows? And who thought it was a good idea to introduce an old wise looking woman in the middle of the film for 1 minute and then do nothing with her after that. As soon as I saw her I was like “dear God, please don’t make her turn out to be some sort of stupid oracle.” But really, DO SOMETHING WITH HER!!!

The last 30 Minutes of the Movie- Wait, did I just say I liked this? Yeah, well, there was a huge problem with it too. SPOILER!!! So they go to the main machine city, and for some reason there are no robots. That’s it. That’s all I’m going to say. It just didn’t make any sense.

Things I Hated:
Kill them why don’t you?- See, they had this hit list with a couple of characters on it that people would recognize from previous films. And at some point, they even capture some of these people. They don’t kill them though. Oh no. They put them in cells, possible hoping they will expire of old age. THESE ARE THE DUMBEST MACHINES EVER!!

Mute Kid- What the hell?? Why was the kid mute?? Why did we need a somewhat adorable kid with an afro?? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!!!??? Fire the casting director.

Verdict:
Ok. It’s all out of my system now. So truth be told, I thought it was a fair flick to see on screen for the 3 dollars I spent at the cheap theater. For everyone else out there, I recommend renting it. If anything just for the last bit.

Oh yeah, I just remembered that I kept thinking they should have named this movie "Terminator Redemption". It would have made more sense to me.