Dear God it's been a long time since I posted. I have been attending my film class, really enjoying what I have been learning. I've seen a few movies since my last post, but not that many. Inglorious Bastards is the only thing I can remember, heh. It awesome, that probably goes without saying. I'm going to try to see a few movies and see how my newly enlighted brain takes stuff in. I hope to put up a new review soon. Thanks to anyone who reads this.
Joel
Monday, September 7, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Review: G.I. JOE The Rise of Cobra
Synopsis: An arms maker turns evil and it is up to an elite group of soldiers to take them down. I am being nice.
Stars: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Christopher Eccelston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (awesome name), Rachel Nichols, Ray Park (Dude, Darth Maul, Headless Horseman, Toad, fer rills), Byung-hun Lee, Saïd Taghmaoui, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Arnold Vosloo. That’s right, I am punishing all of you. And looking through the IMDB list of stars, I notice Brendan Frasier is not listed. YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME!!!
Dear GOD, that was the worst Stars Wars movie yet! That pod race was totally unbelievable. And the whole Death Star scene? Come on, just because it’s underwater doesn’t make it any cooler. Under water on Hoth. I mean, that light saber fight scene on Cloud City was cool, but that’s about it for the cool factor. And why did they make Lando gay? And why was C3PO a French guy? And… what’s that? No, I don’t have my movies mixed up. What are you talking about? GI JOE? That action figure thing with the “life like hair” and “kung-fu grip”? Get out of here. Darth Vader was in the damn movie! I mean, this time he was Leia’s brother, but still! … You gotta be BSing me.
Now that that parts over with, I can go on. GI JOE. I was never really a fan when I was a kid. I either just missed it, or my parents thought I went choke on the tiny toys. I had a bad habit of trying to eat things that were not food when I was a child. I finally stemmed it in college (Shane, shut your mouth). So, I must say that I have very little knowledge of the characters or any of their backgrounds. I am going over this purely as a wanna-be movie critic.
WHAT A PIECE OF $%&^!!!!!!
Things I Liked:
Ninja, ninja, RAP- Ninja fights are always cool. Martial arts are cool in general for that matter. So this part is pretty much a no-brainer. Now that I know it was Ray Park up there fighting, I think it was a lot cooler. I’m glad to see he’s still getting a chance to show off his moves.
That about covers that.
Things I Didn’t Like:
Failed twists, lame turns- When it came down to trying to make the story really engaging, the makers of the movie relied heavily on flashbacks and little pieces of story that were left hanging till the end. It didn’t work. We didn’t need that many flashbacks to explain the relationships between any of the characters. It didn’t need to be paced so you got a little at a time. I even got tired of watching (SPOILER) Kid Snake-Eyes and Kid Stormshadow punch each other silly. And who didn’t see the “twist” at the end? And who gave a flying EFF who Darth… er, I mean, the doctor really turned out to be. NO ONE. Well, I didn’t at least.
Things I Hated:
Welcome to the year 2000- I have to say, all those PlayStation One graphics they used really brought the whole movie together for me. Did you like it when plastic Scarlet did that awesome stunt with the motorcycle? Or that awesome secret desert base that appeared to ALSO be made out of some cheap polyurethane? HOW ABOUT THEM FLYING/SWIMMING SHIPS? It really adds realism when you briefly see the pilot of said ship as it passes by. And I thought that polar bear was gonna jump off the screen and grab me a freaking coke! I CANNOT BELIEVE that no one though, gee? Maybe we should polish some of this stuff up before we finish up production. Nah, the average movie goer isn’t going to notice that it all looks like Adobe Photoshop.
Ok, now that I have ranted about that, I just want to say that I know how hard it is to make things look real with computers, even with today’s technology. And I know that the movie is basically a Sci-Fi action films, emphasis on Fi. That being said, what they put out on that screen was pathetic. There is no excuse for SO MANY bad effects. If they couldn’t afford to make everything look as good as it could, they should have taken it down a few notches. They didn’t need all the tech crap they tried to put in to make a good movie. There is no excuse for such slop.
Advertisements- I don’t know about anyone else who saw the movie, but I want some Double Bubble. And I’m going to use Norton Anti-Virus, because you know, that’s what the big wigs use.
Verdict:
My head hurts. My head physically hurts from having gone and seen this movie. Since I liked some of the things I saw in this movie, I cannot give it a 1. I give it a reluctant 2. SEE AT YOUR OWN RISK. Curiosity is trying to kill you, and after this movie is done, you may want to do the job yourself. Maybe you are better off just going to You-Tube and looking up some martial arts tourneys.
By the way, Channing Tatum? Give Paul Walker his face and acting ability back.
Stars: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Christopher Eccelston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (awesome name), Rachel Nichols, Ray Park (Dude, Darth Maul, Headless Horseman, Toad, fer rills), Byung-hun Lee, Saïd Taghmaoui, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Arnold Vosloo. That’s right, I am punishing all of you. And looking through the IMDB list of stars, I notice Brendan Frasier is not listed. YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM ME!!!
Dear GOD, that was the worst Stars Wars movie yet! That pod race was totally unbelievable. And the whole Death Star scene? Come on, just because it’s underwater doesn’t make it any cooler. Under water on Hoth. I mean, that light saber fight scene on Cloud City was cool, but that’s about it for the cool factor. And why did they make Lando gay? And why was C3PO a French guy? And… what’s that? No, I don’t have my movies mixed up. What are you talking about? GI JOE? That action figure thing with the “life like hair” and “kung-fu grip”? Get out of here. Darth Vader was in the damn movie! I mean, this time he was Leia’s brother, but still! … You gotta be BSing me.
Now that that parts over with, I can go on. GI JOE. I was never really a fan when I was a kid. I either just missed it, or my parents thought I went choke on the tiny toys. I had a bad habit of trying to eat things that were not food when I was a child. I finally stemmed it in college (Shane, shut your mouth). So, I must say that I have very little knowledge of the characters or any of their backgrounds. I am going over this purely as a wanna-be movie critic.
WHAT A PIECE OF $%&^!!!!!!
Things I Liked:
Ninja, ninja, RAP- Ninja fights are always cool. Martial arts are cool in general for that matter. So this part is pretty much a no-brainer. Now that I know it was Ray Park up there fighting, I think it was a lot cooler. I’m glad to see he’s still getting a chance to show off his moves.
That about covers that.
Things I Didn’t Like:
Failed twists, lame turns- When it came down to trying to make the story really engaging, the makers of the movie relied heavily on flashbacks and little pieces of story that were left hanging till the end. It didn’t work. We didn’t need that many flashbacks to explain the relationships between any of the characters. It didn’t need to be paced so you got a little at a time. I even got tired of watching (SPOILER) Kid Snake-Eyes and Kid Stormshadow punch each other silly. And who didn’t see the “twist” at the end? And who gave a flying EFF who Darth… er, I mean, the doctor really turned out to be. NO ONE. Well, I didn’t at least.
Things I Hated:
Welcome to the year 2000- I have to say, all those PlayStation One graphics they used really brought the whole movie together for me. Did you like it when plastic Scarlet did that awesome stunt with the motorcycle? Or that awesome secret desert base that appeared to ALSO be made out of some cheap polyurethane? HOW ABOUT THEM FLYING/SWIMMING SHIPS? It really adds realism when you briefly see the pilot of said ship as it passes by. And I thought that polar bear was gonna jump off the screen and grab me a freaking coke! I CANNOT BELIEVE that no one though, gee? Maybe we should polish some of this stuff up before we finish up production. Nah, the average movie goer isn’t going to notice that it all looks like Adobe Photoshop.
Ok, now that I have ranted about that, I just want to say that I know how hard it is to make things look real with computers, even with today’s technology. And I know that the movie is basically a Sci-Fi action films, emphasis on Fi. That being said, what they put out on that screen was pathetic. There is no excuse for SO MANY bad effects. If they couldn’t afford to make everything look as good as it could, they should have taken it down a few notches. They didn’t need all the tech crap they tried to put in to make a good movie. There is no excuse for such slop.
Advertisements- I don’t know about anyone else who saw the movie, but I want some Double Bubble. And I’m going to use Norton Anti-Virus, because you know, that’s what the big wigs use.
Verdict:
My head hurts. My head physically hurts from having gone and seen this movie. Since I liked some of the things I saw in this movie, I cannot give it a 1. I give it a reluctant 2. SEE AT YOUR OWN RISK. Curiosity is trying to kill you, and after this movie is done, you may want to do the job yourself. Maybe you are better off just going to You-Tube and looking up some martial arts tourneys.
By the way, Channing Tatum? Give Paul Walker his face and acting ability back.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Review: Funny People
Synopsis: A famous comedian/movie star learns that he is dying and figures out that his life is kind of crappy. A comedian trying to make it in the stand-up world gets sucked into the famous person’s life as the movie star’s assistant.
Stars: Uh, once again, there are a lot of famous people in the movie. A lot of cameos. I’ll just list the obvious. Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman
Let me just warn you straight up. If you are expecting to go see this and see the 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up, you will be disappointed. This movie doesn’t go for the extremes like either of those movies, or any other Seth Rogen associated movie. That out of the way, damn what a good movie. The movies isn’t without its problems of course. For instance, I feel like it was two different movies. One I really liked, and one I eventually started getting tired of. The life of a stand-up comedian mixed in with the tale of a wasted life. It was a nice little package anyways.
Things I Liked:
Adam Sandler- I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I love it when Adam Sandler does (mostly) serious roles. I think he’s a very good actor. In fact, I really like a lot of comedians that do serious roles. Jim Carrey, Mike Myers (54 if you don’t remember), um… I’m sure there are others that I’m not thinking of.
You know what? Give it up for the whole cast- Everyone in this movie was really good. Eric Bana made me laugh quite a few times. Jason Schwartzman also was just as funny, and good in his role. I felt like the friendship between Rogen, Schwartzman, and Hill was easier to relate to then the other movies I have seen these guys in together (well, Rogen and Hill I guess). Then again, I’m not a stoner. Leslie Mann, she was SO good in this movie. She needs more roles. Give her more stuff Hollywood.
Things I Didn’t Like:
Pacing- Now, remember when I said that it was two movies, one I liked and one I was getting tired of? Now that I have had time to reflect on this, I think it all came down to pacing. There were tons of cameos throughout the movie, and the constant stand-up routine just got tired for me. And now that I think about it, the “lost love possibly regained” scenes were lagging too. The movie was long, almost 2 and a half hours worth, and I have to admit that at the time I didn’t notice this but I do have a habit of getting sucked into almost any movie. Now that I’m clear headed I can see that it really felt like a lot of scenes to make one story.
Too many cameos- There were some people that briefly appeared in the movie I could have done without. I love Dave Attell and Norm MacDonald, but they weren’t acting in the movie, and their brief appearance made me cringe.
Things I Hated:
Nah. Nothing here.
Verdict:
I’d say this flick a 4 out of 5, leaning toward 3. If you miss seeing it in the theater, I don’t think you are going to regret it. It would make a pretty good rental. I did really like it at the time of exiting the theater. Now that I’ve been able to sit back and pick at it, I can see that it still was very good, but not perfect in any stretch. Well, maybe Eric Bana was perfect. He was really funny.
Stars: Uh, once again, there are a lot of famous people in the movie. A lot of cameos. I’ll just list the obvious. Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman
Let me just warn you straight up. If you are expecting to go see this and see the 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up, you will be disappointed. This movie doesn’t go for the extremes like either of those movies, or any other Seth Rogen associated movie. That out of the way, damn what a good movie. The movies isn’t without its problems of course. For instance, I feel like it was two different movies. One I really liked, and one I eventually started getting tired of. The life of a stand-up comedian mixed in with the tale of a wasted life. It was a nice little package anyways.
Things I Liked:
Adam Sandler- I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I love it when Adam Sandler does (mostly) serious roles. I think he’s a very good actor. In fact, I really like a lot of comedians that do serious roles. Jim Carrey, Mike Myers (54 if you don’t remember), um… I’m sure there are others that I’m not thinking of.
You know what? Give it up for the whole cast- Everyone in this movie was really good. Eric Bana made me laugh quite a few times. Jason Schwartzman also was just as funny, and good in his role. I felt like the friendship between Rogen, Schwartzman, and Hill was easier to relate to then the other movies I have seen these guys in together (well, Rogen and Hill I guess). Then again, I’m not a stoner. Leslie Mann, she was SO good in this movie. She needs more roles. Give her more stuff Hollywood.
Things I Didn’t Like:
Pacing- Now, remember when I said that it was two movies, one I liked and one I was getting tired of? Now that I have had time to reflect on this, I think it all came down to pacing. There were tons of cameos throughout the movie, and the constant stand-up routine just got tired for me. And now that I think about it, the “lost love possibly regained” scenes were lagging too. The movie was long, almost 2 and a half hours worth, and I have to admit that at the time I didn’t notice this but I do have a habit of getting sucked into almost any movie. Now that I’m clear headed I can see that it really felt like a lot of scenes to make one story.
Too many cameos- There were some people that briefly appeared in the movie I could have done without. I love Dave Attell and Norm MacDonald, but they weren’t acting in the movie, and their brief appearance made me cringe.
Things I Hated:
Nah. Nothing here.
Verdict:
I’d say this flick a 4 out of 5, leaning toward 3. If you miss seeing it in the theater, I don’t think you are going to regret it. It would make a pretty good rental. I did really like it at the time of exiting the theater. Now that I’ve been able to sit back and pick at it, I can see that it still was very good, but not perfect in any stretch. Well, maybe Eric Bana was perfect. He was really funny.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Review: G-Force
Sorry this is so late. I hit a snag in my movie reviewing schedule. You know, the oversleeping snag. For a week.
Synopsis: A group of elite guinea pigs finds them selves cut off from their federal funding and forced to be on the run. Also there some take over/destroy the world plots going on.
Stars: Bill Nighy, Will Arnett, Zack Galifianakis, Kelli Garner, Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, John Favreau, Penelope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, Steve Bucemi
Let’s see, out of the movies that came out this week (The Ugly Truth, G-Force, Orphan) this was the only movie I thought I would get even the slightest kick out of. I was wrong, as I liked The Ugly Truth. I was not wrong about this film though. I got quite a few kicks out of it. It’s safe to say that if you have children and are going to take them to see this movie, then do not be afraid. I have a feeling you will also enjoy what is happening up on the big screen too.
Things I Liked:
Goofy, fun humor- I really doubt there will be too many things to go over a kid’s head in this movie. It had a good mixture of fun kid sight gags and dialog to make me smile almost the whole movie. They made a few references to other movies that actually made me laugh out loud. Kudos to the flick.
Soundtrack- Amazing. Not the music, it was good, not amazing. What is amazing is that they managed to make a “live” action Disney movie where I didn’t want to strangle whoever was in charge of the soundtrack. All the music was right in the right place. Nice work on that.
Things I Didn’t Like/Hated:
Not a thing really. If I were to be ultra-nitpicker, I guess I would say that the story wasn’t that cohesive. But you know what? It was a movie for kids.
Verdict:
I will give this movie 4 out of 5. It’s not something to be rushed out and seen by everyone or anything like that. It is pretty entertaining though. Take the kids and enjoy yourself. I mean, why not?
Synopsis: A group of elite guinea pigs finds them selves cut off from their federal funding and forced to be on the run. Also there some take over/destroy the world plots going on.
Stars: Bill Nighy, Will Arnett, Zack Galifianakis, Kelli Garner, Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, John Favreau, Penelope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, Steve Bucemi
Let’s see, out of the movies that came out this week (The Ugly Truth, G-Force, Orphan) this was the only movie I thought I would get even the slightest kick out of. I was wrong, as I liked The Ugly Truth. I was not wrong about this film though. I got quite a few kicks out of it. It’s safe to say that if you have children and are going to take them to see this movie, then do not be afraid. I have a feeling you will also enjoy what is happening up on the big screen too.
Things I Liked:
Goofy, fun humor- I really doubt there will be too many things to go over a kid’s head in this movie. It had a good mixture of fun kid sight gags and dialog to make me smile almost the whole movie. They made a few references to other movies that actually made me laugh out loud. Kudos to the flick.
Soundtrack- Amazing. Not the music, it was good, not amazing. What is amazing is that they managed to make a “live” action Disney movie where I didn’t want to strangle whoever was in charge of the soundtrack. All the music was right in the right place. Nice work on that.
Things I Didn’t Like/Hated:
Not a thing really. If I were to be ultra-nitpicker, I guess I would say that the story wasn’t that cohesive. But you know what? It was a movie for kids.
Verdict:
I will give this movie 4 out of 5. It’s not something to be rushed out and seen by everyone or anything like that. It is pretty entertaining though. Take the kids and enjoy yourself. I mean, why not?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Review: The Ugly Truth
Synopsis: A woman who is in charge of a failing morning show is forced to work with a man she despises. You can pretty much guess what happens, it is after all, a romantic comedy.
Stars: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Bree Turner (I kept trying to place this woman’s face the whole movie and couldn’t. I am sorry to say after some research, I discovered that I recognize her from Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo as the fish store attendant), Eric Winter, John Michael Higgins, Cheryl Hines, Nick Searcy
Romantic comedies. I cannot lie on this and tell you that I am above such entertainment. They are a guilty pleasure of mine, just like many other people. I go to them because they are laid back, usually easy to watch and follow, funny, and relatable. So sue me for seeming to have a sensitive side. My girlfriend would tell you that I am overly sensitive, which would in turn, make me cry. Salty sad tears of… sadness. Right.
I quite enjoyed this film. It was a nice relaxing comedy for me to just enjoy and not get too worried about. I knew it was either going to be really bad or just fine. Just fine it was.
What I Liked:
Katherine Heigl- I SO want to dislike this woman. In her personal life, which is no business of mine but I cannot help but be exposed to it due to the way this country handles it celebrities, she is an obnoxious bitch. She seems to be a fine actress though. I have found here very likable in both of the movies I have seen her in (the other of course being Knocked Up). How does she pull that off? She must go to hours of acting classes every day to see what it’s like to be a nice and/or smart person.
Gerard Butler- It’s not quite true that I liked him 100% of the time. I liked Gerard Butler most of the time. Whenever he wasn’t being the over the top chauvinistic pig I liked him. Whenever he had scenes with Katherine Heigl I liked. Of course, maybe that was the point. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to like him when he was over acting like that? Brilliant! Ok, brilliant is too much. I feel dumb now that I’ve thought that out.
What I Didn’t Like:
Generic predictable storyline- I can’t really fault the movie for this. I mean, it’s a romantic comedy! You get what you paid for. For me to find something completely original in any such movie would come as a total shock to me and I look forward to it happening someday. As of now, hasn’t happened. It didn’t take away from the movie for me to know how it would turn out. I’m just saying that it wasn’t anything new.
What I Hated:
Soundtrack- Once again, for a romantic comedy, this is practically a given. There was some really REALLY bad music. Of course. I hate that “Take me away” song they play on those damned commercials.
Verdict:
I explained to my pal Will how I rate the movies in my head, and I suppose it would be fair to tell anyone else who bothers to read this what I think when it comes down to the verdicts. It’s a number system, because numbers are easy. The number correlates to how I felt after seeing the movie.
5- Go see it in the theater. Pay any damn price!
4- See it in the theater at a matinee. This means that I liked the movie, but I don’t necessarily think it has to be seen on the big screen to appreciate it. It could be a rental and still enjoyed.
3- Rent it. Means I liked it, but not enough that I feel you should rush out to see it.
2- Rent at your own risk. This one can mean that I was sorry I saw it on the big screen but I think it should be watched for some amusing things about it, or because it has some good scenes. Or maybe because you are going to watch it anyways because you are sick in the head.
1- This means that the actual film on which the movie is printed should be taken out to the street and publicly burned. Possibly while dancing and asking the Gods for forgiveness.
Does that help anyone else? It helps me. This movie is a 4 in my opinion. I liked it. I would see it again if so prompted. But I’m a sucker for the romcoms, like I said.
Stars: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Bree Turner (I kept trying to place this woman’s face the whole movie and couldn’t. I am sorry to say after some research, I discovered that I recognize her from Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo as the fish store attendant), Eric Winter, John Michael Higgins, Cheryl Hines, Nick Searcy
Romantic comedies. I cannot lie on this and tell you that I am above such entertainment. They are a guilty pleasure of mine, just like many other people. I go to them because they are laid back, usually easy to watch and follow, funny, and relatable. So sue me for seeming to have a sensitive side. My girlfriend would tell you that I am overly sensitive, which would in turn, make me cry. Salty sad tears of… sadness. Right.
I quite enjoyed this film. It was a nice relaxing comedy for me to just enjoy and not get too worried about. I knew it was either going to be really bad or just fine. Just fine it was.
What I Liked:
Katherine Heigl- I SO want to dislike this woman. In her personal life, which is no business of mine but I cannot help but be exposed to it due to the way this country handles it celebrities, she is an obnoxious bitch. She seems to be a fine actress though. I have found here very likable in both of the movies I have seen her in (the other of course being Knocked Up). How does she pull that off? She must go to hours of acting classes every day to see what it’s like to be a nice and/or smart person.
Gerard Butler- It’s not quite true that I liked him 100% of the time. I liked Gerard Butler most of the time. Whenever he wasn’t being the over the top chauvinistic pig I liked him. Whenever he had scenes with Katherine Heigl I liked. Of course, maybe that was the point. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to like him when he was over acting like that? Brilliant! Ok, brilliant is too much. I feel dumb now that I’ve thought that out.
What I Didn’t Like:
Generic predictable storyline- I can’t really fault the movie for this. I mean, it’s a romantic comedy! You get what you paid for. For me to find something completely original in any such movie would come as a total shock to me and I look forward to it happening someday. As of now, hasn’t happened. It didn’t take away from the movie for me to know how it would turn out. I’m just saying that it wasn’t anything new.
What I Hated:
Soundtrack- Once again, for a romantic comedy, this is practically a given. There was some really REALLY bad music. Of course. I hate that “Take me away” song they play on those damned commercials.
Verdict:
I explained to my pal Will how I rate the movies in my head, and I suppose it would be fair to tell anyone else who bothers to read this what I think when it comes down to the verdicts. It’s a number system, because numbers are easy. The number correlates to how I felt after seeing the movie.
5- Go see it in the theater. Pay any damn price!
4- See it in the theater at a matinee. This means that I liked the movie, but I don’t necessarily think it has to be seen on the big screen to appreciate it. It could be a rental and still enjoyed.
3- Rent it. Means I liked it, but not enough that I feel you should rush out to see it.
2- Rent at your own risk. This one can mean that I was sorry I saw it on the big screen but I think it should be watched for some amusing things about it, or because it has some good scenes. Or maybe because you are going to watch it anyways because you are sick in the head.
1- This means that the actual film on which the movie is printed should be taken out to the street and publicly burned. Possibly while dancing and asking the Gods for forgiveness.
Does that help anyone else? It helps me. This movie is a 4 in my opinion. I liked it. I would see it again if so prompted. But I’m a sucker for the romcoms, like I said.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Review: Terminator Salvation
Synopsis: A terminator movie that takes place during the actual machine war. The machines are taking large amounts of hostages, no one knows why. And some other stuff with a robot guy and a hit list with important people on it and a mute kid. Right, I don’t get it either.
Stars: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Moon Bloodgood (WTF? That sounds like the kind of name Todd McFarlane would come up with. I call BS), Helena Bonham Carter, Anton Yelchin (This kid also played Chekov in the new Star Trek) and of course, Common. Because you can’t make a good movie without Common.
The humans are dead! The humans are deeaaaad! Well, they should be. It seems like the robots have a pretty good hold on the planet. For instance, the few human that remain can blow something up and attract a few robots to the area in a matter of seconds. Except, you know, when they are shooting and blowing things up right next to their base of operations. Because the robots can’t find that, it’s too special. Yeah, that’s got to be it.
So I thought this movie was pretty goofy. It didn’t instill the fear I felt of being pursued by an unstoppable killing machine like the first 2 movies did. It seemed more like a generic action movie. Which is, in my opinion, sucksville. These were always action movies, sure, but they were also thrilling/horrifying suspense films. The new movie wasn’t all bad, just mostly I think.
Things I Liked:
Different Robots- There were some very cool looking robots of course. The T-600 looked like a more primitive T-800 (which it was). And some of the ships were very cool looking. On the other hand, fish robots? Or eel if you will. They could have made those water machines look like anything. Why did they take a page from the matrix and decide, yeah, that’s good enough? ‘Splain it to me Lucy.
The last 30 or so minutes- I don’t want to spoil this part too much, but there is a few awesome fight and flight scenes here that made me feel like I was watching a Terminator movie again. This was about the only time, besides a few scenes with Marcus (The main character, not John Conner) that had me really into it too.
Things I Didn’t Like:
Running in large groups- See, this was what I had problems with the most in the film. It’s just uninteresting to see the helpless people being chased and grabbed. Not slaughtered, but collected for some reason. Who knows? And who thought it was a good idea to introduce an old wise looking woman in the middle of the film for 1 minute and then do nothing with her after that. As soon as I saw her I was like “dear God, please don’t make her turn out to be some sort of stupid oracle.” But really, DO SOMETHING WITH HER!!!
The last 30 Minutes of the Movie- Wait, did I just say I liked this? Yeah, well, there was a huge problem with it too. SPOILER!!! So they go to the main machine city, and for some reason there are no robots. That’s it. That’s all I’m going to say. It just didn’t make any sense.
Things I Hated:
Kill them why don’t you?- See, they had this hit list with a couple of characters on it that people would recognize from previous films. And at some point, they even capture some of these people. They don’t kill them though. Oh no. They put them in cells, possible hoping they will expire of old age. THESE ARE THE DUMBEST MACHINES EVER!!
Mute Kid- What the hell?? Why was the kid mute?? Why did we need a somewhat adorable kid with an afro?? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!!!??? Fire the casting director.
Verdict:
Ok. It’s all out of my system now. So truth be told, I thought it was a fair flick to see on screen for the 3 dollars I spent at the cheap theater. For everyone else out there, I recommend renting it. If anything just for the last bit.
Oh yeah, I just remembered that I kept thinking they should have named this movie "Terminator Redemption". It would have made more sense to me.
Stars: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Moon Bloodgood (WTF? That sounds like the kind of name Todd McFarlane would come up with. I call BS), Helena Bonham Carter, Anton Yelchin (This kid also played Chekov in the new Star Trek) and of course, Common. Because you can’t make a good movie without Common.
The humans are dead! The humans are deeaaaad! Well, they should be. It seems like the robots have a pretty good hold on the planet. For instance, the few human that remain can blow something up and attract a few robots to the area in a matter of seconds. Except, you know, when they are shooting and blowing things up right next to their base of operations. Because the robots can’t find that, it’s too special. Yeah, that’s got to be it.
So I thought this movie was pretty goofy. It didn’t instill the fear I felt of being pursued by an unstoppable killing machine like the first 2 movies did. It seemed more like a generic action movie. Which is, in my opinion, sucksville. These were always action movies, sure, but they were also thrilling/horrifying suspense films. The new movie wasn’t all bad, just mostly I think.
Things I Liked:
Different Robots- There were some very cool looking robots of course. The T-600 looked like a more primitive T-800 (which it was). And some of the ships were very cool looking. On the other hand, fish robots? Or eel if you will. They could have made those water machines look like anything. Why did they take a page from the matrix and decide, yeah, that’s good enough? ‘Splain it to me Lucy.
The last 30 or so minutes- I don’t want to spoil this part too much, but there is a few awesome fight and flight scenes here that made me feel like I was watching a Terminator movie again. This was about the only time, besides a few scenes with Marcus (The main character, not John Conner) that had me really into it too.
Things I Didn’t Like:
Running in large groups- See, this was what I had problems with the most in the film. It’s just uninteresting to see the helpless people being chased and grabbed. Not slaughtered, but collected for some reason. Who knows? And who thought it was a good idea to introduce an old wise looking woman in the middle of the film for 1 minute and then do nothing with her after that. As soon as I saw her I was like “dear God, please don’t make her turn out to be some sort of stupid oracle.” But really, DO SOMETHING WITH HER!!!
The last 30 Minutes of the Movie- Wait, did I just say I liked this? Yeah, well, there was a huge problem with it too. SPOILER!!! So they go to the main machine city, and for some reason there are no robots. That’s it. That’s all I’m going to say. It just didn’t make any sense.
Things I Hated:
Kill them why don’t you?- See, they had this hit list with a couple of characters on it that people would recognize from previous films. And at some point, they even capture some of these people. They don’t kill them though. Oh no. They put them in cells, possible hoping they will expire of old age. THESE ARE THE DUMBEST MACHINES EVER!!
Mute Kid- What the hell?? Why was the kid mute?? Why did we need a somewhat adorable kid with an afro?? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!!!??? Fire the casting director.
Verdict:
Ok. It’s all out of my system now. So truth be told, I thought it was a fair flick to see on screen for the 3 dollars I spent at the cheap theater. For everyone else out there, I recommend renting it. If anything just for the last bit.
Oh yeah, I just remembered that I kept thinking they should have named this movie "Terminator Redemption". It would have made more sense to me.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Mini-Review: Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Synopsis: Sid steals some eggs. Eggs hatch Dinos. Dinos come from crazy dino filled land found under the ice. AHHH OHHH EEEEEE! Oh yeah, and the female mammoth is pregnant.
Stars: Denis Leary, Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah, Simon Pegg
This is a mini review, so I won’t be going through my likes and dislikes. But why Joel? Didn’t you see this movie twice and therefore should be somewhat of an expert on the film? Well, kind of. I did see the movie two times, but not because I am a lover of all things Ice Age (Although I did like the first one). My brother and his horde of children came to visit our humble home here from Utah, and being the fun uncle, I had to entertain the kids somehow. So I took a few of them to see the new Ice Age, and then alter took a few more. Both times, I was not really watching the movie. The thing is with children at hand, I was not worried about what I was missing on screen, I was worried about what I might be missing in the seats. Gabriel having to go to the bathroom. Mia spilling the popcorn and Sam spilling the drink. Ethan devouring a hot dog in 3 seconds flat. I miss those kids a lot already and they haven’t even been out of my hair that long. But I see I got a request on behalf of my nephews that I review the movie, so in that respect, THIS ONE’S FOR THE CHILDREN.
I was disappointed by the movie. Not really, I didn’t have high expectations for it really. I don’t like Ray Romano, he is just not funny to me. I do like Denis Lear and John Leguizamo, but they really didn’t have anything to funny going on here minus a few scenes. As far as I’m concerned, Simon Pegg as Buck stile the show. His character was hilarious almost 100% of the time he was on screen. And a still love that squirrel thing Scrat even if everyone else is tired of him. He had quite a few funny scenes and that song where he dumps the acorn had me smiling both times I saw it.
Verdict:
Not a very good movie really. Kind of boring most of the time. I think the kids really liked it, but I could be wrong about that too. I should have asked them. It’s a rental movie at best.
Sam, Ethan, and Gabriel, remember the rule. No one can pick your seat but you… at the movie theater.
Stars: Denis Leary, Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah, Simon Pegg
This is a mini review, so I won’t be going through my likes and dislikes. But why Joel? Didn’t you see this movie twice and therefore should be somewhat of an expert on the film? Well, kind of. I did see the movie two times, but not because I am a lover of all things Ice Age (Although I did like the first one). My brother and his horde of children came to visit our humble home here from Utah, and being the fun uncle, I had to entertain the kids somehow. So I took a few of them to see the new Ice Age, and then alter took a few more. Both times, I was not really watching the movie. The thing is with children at hand, I was not worried about what I was missing on screen, I was worried about what I might be missing in the seats. Gabriel having to go to the bathroom. Mia spilling the popcorn and Sam spilling the drink. Ethan devouring a hot dog in 3 seconds flat. I miss those kids a lot already and they haven’t even been out of my hair that long. But I see I got a request on behalf of my nephews that I review the movie, so in that respect, THIS ONE’S FOR THE CHILDREN.
I was disappointed by the movie. Not really, I didn’t have high expectations for it really. I don’t like Ray Romano, he is just not funny to me. I do like Denis Lear and John Leguizamo, but they really didn’t have anything to funny going on here minus a few scenes. As far as I’m concerned, Simon Pegg as Buck stile the show. His character was hilarious almost 100% of the time he was on screen. And a still love that squirrel thing Scrat even if everyone else is tired of him. He had quite a few funny scenes and that song where he dumps the acorn had me smiling both times I saw it.
Verdict:
Not a very good movie really. Kind of boring most of the time. I think the kids really liked it, but I could be wrong about that too. I should have asked them. It’s a rental movie at best.
Sam, Ethan, and Gabriel, remember the rule. No one can pick your seat but you… at the movie theater.
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