Review: Noah

Noah (2014):

Synopsis – Listen, the world is full of terrible, awful people. So God tells his one follower left to build an ark and he shall fill it with CGI animals. Then He turns on all the faucets at once and kills man.

Starring - Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Douglas Booth, lots of extras, and some more famous people who must have been voice over for the giant rock thingies.

What was the last bible oriented movie that was of any note? The Passion of the Christ? I certainly can’t remember the last time I was interested in seeing one. It took a special director, a special cast, and the expectation of not being preached at to finally get me in the theater again for one. It’s not that I have any problem with the occasional sermon in my movies, I just go to them for other, more enjoyable reasons. My problem with the average bible film is that the creators tend to be too afraid to stray from the source material, and you know what? They should be afraid. There is nothing scarier than a mob of angry religious folk in my opinion. Except for sharks. And don’t get me started on a mob of religious sharks.

What I Liked:

-Whenever the movie was allowed to go “full Aronofsky” I was enthralled. These were scenes that usually showed that time was passing, in creative ways of course. How life began on Earth (via the Creation story) was a particularly moving scene.

-I think everyone did an excellent job acting their parts, with the exception of Douglas Booth. It isn’t that he was terrible, but compared to the other main actors he was given little to do and when he was called upon to act he did not have the gravitas to pull off what was needed. It seems like they hired a pretty boy instead of a man for the part.

-I feel like the story was handled with a very deft hand. I have seen complaints saying that the movie makes Noah seem like a crazy person, and other inaccuracies when compared to the source material. Most of the rumors about why not to see the movie are just that, rumors; unsubstantiated and made up without actually having seen the film. The movie is very respectful to Christianity, and while it takes certain liberties none of them are offensive in my opinion. The most offensive thing in the film is the violence that takes place, and more offensive is the fact that at my screening parents had brought in children much too young to see some of the intense scenes that took place. Some people are just too stupid to know better.

What I Didn’t Like:

-The real reason I wanted to see this movie at all was because of its director, Darren Aronofsky. Black Swan was one of my favorite movies of the year it was released, and I liked The Wrestler well enough. As I said in the “Liked” section, there were some great Aronofsky bits that I am glad I got to see. The rest of the movie was for the most part pretty average. I was surprised to see “The Watchers” in the movie, but instead of adding to the air of mystery that might surround a movie about a prophet who receives messages from God, I felt the CGI creatures gave off a distinctive “Transformers” feeling, just without the hip hop attitude.

-I’m not sure Aronofsky quite knows how to film battles, but it may have been his intent not to make it a spectacle. Because it totally was NOT spectacular in any way.

What I Hated:

-What I hated was that I allowed my expectations to be raised more than they should have. My disappointment with the film is partially my own fault.

Verdict:

As with any film I watch, I am glad that I saw it. My pal Jose and I saw it in the extra-large XD screen, and I don’t think it was worth the extra few dollars we shelled out. I say if you have any interest in the movie, go see it in the theater. It is enjoyable enough. Otherwise, might as well skip it.