Review (Sort of): Nine ½ Weeks

Synopsis – Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke canoodle in a plotless weird sexy time movie.

Starring - Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke. Yes, there are others involved, but who cares about them.

Wasn’t this movie on a bunch lists at one point for being totally sexy? What I watched was sexy, in the sense that any train wreck is sexy, which is not at all. Jeez louise, this movie is a dated relic that, honestly, might belong in a museum. I’m not going to break down this movie, I will instead simply present my notes in the order that I took them. Here they are:

-Movies for 30 somethings

-Seriously, was Mickey Rourke in a car accident or something, because even his voice is unrecognizable

-Sarah said it’s like Tommy Wiseau saw this movie and thought "this is what love looks like"

-I think the film maker might have thought he was making an art film

-I’m not sure this movie has a plot…

-The fucking music!

-WTF THE FRIDGE SCENE IS SO FUCKING WTF DID I JUST WATCH

-Please for god’s sake talk above a whisper

After that I finally gave up on trying to keep a hold on this freaking movie. The music, I cannot tell 

you, explain to you, how terrible it is.

But, even after all my bitching and even after I thought I might be losing my mind, I still kind of liked 

it. I think that means I have problems.